About Experience

One thing that we rarely do is just to be in the moment.
To be in the moment means to experience ‘this’, whatever ‘this’ is, right here and now.

We are so busy in the mind with worries, plans, ideas, difficulties, past, future, believes, fears, hopes…we are so much in the mind, that we don’t allow ourselves to experience ‘this’, whatever ‘this’ happens to be…brushing our teeth, taking out the garbage, riding in a taxi, walking on the street, working at the computer, talking to a friend, playing with our kids, listening to music.

When I use the word experience, I don’t include change; change is something else. Yes, of course there is a time for change, but that is not what I am referring to here. When I said experience in this context, I don’t mean to change, but only to observe, to notice. And this is very important because the wanting, the needing to change what we observe is another reason why it is so difficult to just experience. For example, I look at something that somehow is not completely agreeable to me, and right away I reject it and want to change it, instead of feeling it, sense it, notice it, be part of it, be with it.

Right now, be with this moment, whatever ‘this’ happens to be.
Stop reading for a moment and feel ‘this’. It does not have to be a perfect moment; it rarely is. Just let it be as it is, and connect to it, sense it, feel it.
Take a few seconds…stop for a moment the chatter in your mind and Be.

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Can you see how quickly we get distracted? How quickly a force inside the mind pushes us to think about something?
Of course, there is nothing wrong with thinking. We need to think, like for example, when we need to reach an appointment. In order for us to do that, we will need to think about so many details like leaving the house at a particular hour, putting the appropriate clothes, ordering the taxi or knowing the number of the bus or remembering the time it will take us to walk in order to be there on time, etc, etc. To do any of this, and of course this is just at the very basic level, we need to think.

But what is important to realize is that a lot of the time, we don’t need to think, to plan, to remember.
And what happens when the mind stops even for a moment*, is that we can experience.
Experiencing what?
Experiencing what is in the moment, in any moment, in this moment right now without any intention at all to change it. To experience our heart beating, the sensations of our clothes on the skin, the tensions, worries and fears that appear in the mind, the sounds, the colors, the breeze.

But the truth is that most people, most of the time, don’t experience anything at all. We rush through life to the next event, next appointment, next idea, next moment, and the possibility to experience what is here and now completely disappears.

And then, even if we try to experience the moment, either because we read something like this or because somehow we understand the need for it, we can’t.
Why not?
Because we have literally become numb.
Why?
Because we have been for so long lost in the movements of the mind that our organs of experience become rusty, no different from a muscle that is not used. Especially living in large cities, where our attention is so easily taken by all and everything, we tend not to see nor hear nor feel almost anything at all, unless it has a practical and productive purpose, like making money, getting a sexual favor, prevent an accident or reach a destination.
But the poetry, the beauty, the uniqueness of a particular moment, completely elude us.
Or as Rilke** beautifully said in the voice of a wise, little kid talking to other kids:
‘But just listen now: what do our parents do? They go around with irritated, tormented faces, nothing suits them, they shout and scold and yet, they are so indifferent that if the whole world came to an end, they would hardly notice it.’

As an example, let’s say we are in a hurry. And most people in a big city spend a lot of their days being in a hurry.
Now, in this state of ‘being late’ how much can we experience? Can we experience anything at all, other than the tensions and worries that come with being late?
No, we can’t.
And the thing is that most people, most of the time, spend the majority of their time either being late, or being in a hurry, or being upset or worried or anxious. How much can we experience in those states?
To experience we need to be open, expanded, silent.

Now, why am I talking so much about experience?
It is because experience is at the very root of our lives; it is the staff our life is made of!
I was reminded recently of people that have had near death experiences. In those moments, what is that they remember? They remember the most simple and ordinary experiences that have had either when they were alone or in the company of their loved ones. They remember the color of a particular flower, or the touching of a hand, or the smell of a particular moment.
Think about it, how much of these experiences can we have when we are late, upset, worried or anxious?

Right now, let’s try again.
Stop reading for a moment and experience the sounds around you. Even for a second.
Close your eyes; take a deep breath; feel your body; and listen.
Don’t name the experience.
Just listen, or touch, or see.

Just stop for a moment, and Be.


* Yes, in time and with a lot of practice, we can experience also while thinking, but for most people, thinking takes so much of our energy, that all the attention goes into it.

** Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 – 1926), Stories of God